This new song in the stage musical is a song of temptation, and personally an unexpected
pleasure, because on paper the idea of Flotsam and Jetsam getting their own number doesn't
look like it'd be memorable. But I'm happy to be wrong, for in "Sweet Child" we get a
wonderfully tricky song of empty promises and seduction as Derrick Baskin and Tyler Maynard
work in harmony to lure Ariel to Ursula's lair. Watch out, young mermaid, for sweetest tongue
hath sharpest tooth.
Flotsam: Poor child.
Jetsam: Poor, sweet child.
Flotsam: She has a very serious problem, hasn't she?
Jetsam: If only...
Flotsam: There were something...
Jetsam: We could do.
Ariel: Who are you two?
Flotsam: Sweet child
Jetsam: Poor child
Flotsam: So tragic
Jetsam: So misunderstood
Flotsam: Dear child
Jetsam: Sad child
Flotsam: Life's looking
Jetsam: Shall we say
Flotsam: Not good
Jetsam: No
Flotsam: Who will ease her woes and worries?
Jetsam: Who will help her get her man?
Flotsam & Jetsam: Sweet child
Perhaps the seawitch can
Ariel: You can't possibly mean... Aunt Ursula?
Flotsam: She knows your dreams
Ariel: Father says her magic is evil.
Jetsam: She'll grant your prayer
Ariel: Please, I have to go.
Flotsam: She'll cast a charm
Jetsam: A tiny a spell
Flotsam: Why the alarm?
Jetsam: No one'll tell
Flotsam: No one will care
Jetsam: It's your affair
Flotsam & Jetsam: Sweet child
Flotsam: Dear child
Jetsam: Poor child
Flotsam: Sad child
Flotsam & Jetsam: We'll bring you to her lair right now
Bet in a half sec
Your prince and you are reconciled
Flotsam: Together.
Jetsam: Forever.
Ariel: Take me to her.
Flotsam & Jetsam: Sweet child
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While the first "Sweet Child" was sung to get Ariel's hopes up and praise her dreams, this reprise very gleefully tears
down those very same dreams in mockery. Again, the excellent harmony and snide delivery are quick to make this one of my
favourite villain songs. This song was originally after Flotsam and Jetsam intercede in the "Kiss the Girl" scene and
prevent Ariel from getting her kiss, but it's been dropped in the last post-2012 stagings of the musical.
Jetsam: Ha!
Flotsam: She may have legs but her love affair doesn't.
Jetsam: I didn't feel any sparks, did you?
Flotsam: No electricity whasotever.
Jetsam: What's the poor sweet child to do?
Flotsam: It's such a shame
Jetsam: It's such a crime
Flotsam: To be so close
Jetsam: And yet so far
Flotsam: So overdue
Jetsam: Yet under par
Flotsam: And out of time
Jetsam: It's too sublime
Flotsam & Jetsam: Sweet child
Jetsam: Poor child
Flotsam: And now her second sun has set
Jetsam: Dear child
Flotsam: Lost child
Jetsam: There's still some hope
Flotsam: You wanna bet?
Jetsam: No
Flotsam: One more day to get her love peck
Jetsam: One more day to snag her man
Flotsam & Jetsam: And then the squid will hit the fan
Flotsam: She'll be disgraced
Jetsam: Oh, debased
Flotsam: Reviled
Flotsam & Jetsam: Poor child
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The musical workshop version of the song is close to the final version, with more of those lovely
harmonies. Though a difference here is that the song itself is listed just after Triton's angry
"The World Above", in which Ariel has had her heart broken, while
in the original Broadway staging, the order of songs is Triton's "The World Above", followed be
Sebastian's attempt to mollify Ariel in "Under the Sea", during which Ariel sneaks off and it leads
into "Sweet Child". For the 2012-onwards revamped version of the stage musical, they've again reordered
the songs, where it's "Under the Sea", "The World Above", and then a sad "If Only" reprise from
Ariel that leads directly into "Sweet Child".
Flotsam & Jetsam: Oh, child...
Poor, sweet child...
Now this is a child...
With a very serious problem...
If only...
There were something we could do.
Sweet child
Poor child
Oh tragic
So misunderstood
Dear child
Sad child
Life's looking
Shall we say
Not good
No
Who will ease her woes and worries?
Who will help her get her man?
Sweet child
Perhaps the seawitch can
Ariel: You mean, Ursula?
Flotsam: She knows your dreams
Ariel: But her powers are forbidden.
Jetsam: She'll grant your prayer
Ariel: Get away, leave me alone.
Flotsam & Jetsam: She'll cast a charm
A tiny a spell
Why the alarm?
No one'll tell
No one'll care
It's your affair
Sweet child
Dear child
Poor child
Sad child
We'll bring you to her lair right now
Bet in a half sec
Your prince and you are reconciled
Together forever
Ariel: Take me to her.
Flotsam & Jetsam: Sweet child
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